Ｉ　ｔｈｉｎｋ　Ｉ　ｓｌｅｐｔ　ｆｏｒ　１２　ｈｏｕｒｓ　ｌａｓｔ　ｎｉｇｈｔ．　Ｔｈｅ　ｗａｙ　ｔｙｐｅｄ　ｔｅｘｔ　ｌｏｏｋｓ　ｉｎ　Ｃｈｉｎａ　ｃｈａｎｇｅｓ　ｅｖｅｒｙ　ｆｅｗ　ｍｏｍｅｎｔｓ，　ａｎｄ　ｆｏｒ　ｎｏｗ，　ｔｈｉｓ　ｓｔｒｅｔｃｈｅｄ　ｏｕｔ　ｔｙｐｉｎｇ　ｄｅｓｃｒｉｂｅｓ　ｍｙ　ｓｔａｔｅ　ｏｆ　ｍｉｎｄ　ａ　ｌｏｔ　ｍｏｒｅ　ａｃｃｕｒａｔｅｌｙ．

 

Ｉ　ｈａｄ　ｄｒｅａｍｓ　ｌｉｋｅ　ｎｅｖｅｒ　ｂｅｆｏｒｅ．　Ｓｏ　ｍａｎｙ　ｔｈａｔ　ｔｒｙｉｎｇ　ｔｏ　ｒｅｍｅｍｂｅｒ　ｔｈｅｍ　ａｌｌ　ｉｓ　ｌｉｋｅ　ｔｒｙｉｎｇ　ｔｏ　ｒｅｍｅｍｂｅｒ　ｅｖｅｒｙ　ｅｖｅｎｔ　ｏｆ　ａｎ　ｅｎｔｉｒｅ　ｌｉｆｅｔｉｍｅ．

 

Ｉ　ｗａｓ　ｉｎ　ｔｈｅ　ｖａｌｌｅｙ　ｏｆ　ｂｅｌｌｓ．　Ａｔ　ｔｈｅ　ｔｏｐ　ｗａｓ　ａ　ｌｉｔｔｌｅ　ｓｔｒｅｅｔ，　ｂｕｔ　ｎｏ　ｏｎｅ　ｌｉｖｅｄ　ｔｈｅｒｅ．Ｔｏ　ｌｅａｖｅ，　Ｗｅ　ｗｅｎｔ　ｄｏｗｎｗａｒｄ　ｔｈｒｕ　ａ　ｌｉｔｔｌｅ　ｓｔｅｅｐ　ｃａｖｅ　ｍａｄｅ　ｏｆ　ｒｏｕｎｄ　ｂｏｕｌｄｅｒｓ　ｔｈａｔ　ｏｐｅｎｅｄ　ｉｎｔｏ　ａ　ｄｒｙ　ｗａｔｅｒｆａｌｌ．　Ｉ　ｈａｄ　ｌｏｎｇ　ｈａｉｒ　ａｎｄ　ａ　ｌｏｎｇ　ｂｅａｒｄ，　ａｎｄ　Ｉ　ｗａｓ　ｔｈｒｏｗｉｎｇ　ｔｈｅ　ｂｅｌｌｓ　ｄｏｗｎ　ｔｈｅ　ｄｒｙ　ｒｉｖｅｒｂｅｄ．　Ｆｉｒｓｔ　ｔｈｅ　ｂｉｇｇｅｓｔ　ｏｎｅｓ，　ｔｏｌｌｉｎｇ　ａｎｄ　ｂｏｎｇｉｎｇ　ｏｆｆ　ｔｈｅ　ｂｏｕｌｄｅｒｓ　ａｎｄ　ｂｏｕｎｄｉｎｇ　ｄｏｗｎ　ｅａｇｅｒｌｙ　ｔｏ　ｔｏｌｌ　ｍｏｒｅ　ｌｏｕｄｌｙ，　ｔｈｅｎ　ｔｈｅ　ｍｅｄｉｕｍ　ｏｎｅｓ　ｐｅａｌｉｎｇ　ａｎｄ　ｃｈｉｍｉｎｇ　ｂｅｎｅａｔｈ　ｔｈｅ　ｂｉｇ　ｓｏｕｎｄ　ｏｆ　ｔｈｅ　ｈｕｇｅ　ｂｅｌｌｓ　ｌｉｋｅ　ｃａｌｍ　ｗａｔｅｒ　ａｔ　ｔｈｅ　ｂｏｔｔｏｍ　ｏｆ　ａ　ｒａｇｉｎｇ　ｔｉｄｅ　ａｎｄ　ｔｈｅ　ｂｏｕｎｃｅｄ　ｄｏｗｎ　ｗｅｄｇｉｎｇ　ｔｈｅｍｓｅｌｖｅｓ　ｉｎ　ｃｒａｃｋｓ　ｂｅｔｗｅｅｎ　ｔｈｅ　ｒｏｃｋｓ，　ａｎｄ　ｔｈｅｎ　ｆｉｎａｌｌｙ　ｔｈｅ　ｌｉｔｔｌｅ　ｂｅｌｌｓ，　ｔｗｉｎｋｌｉｎｇ　ｌｉｋｅ　ｃｈｉｌｄｒｅｎｓ＇　ｖｏｉｃｅｓ　ｄｏｗｎ　ｔｈｅ　ｈｕｎｄｒｅｄｓ　ｏｆ　ｆｅｅｔ　ｔｏ　ｆａｌｌ　ｏｎｔｏ　ｔｈｅ　ｂｅｌｌｉｅｓ　ｏｆ　ｔｈｅ　ｂｉｇ　ｓｔｉｌｌ　ｂｅｌｌｓ　ａｎｄ　ｔｏｌｌ　ｔｈｅｍ　ｑｕｉｅｔｌｙ　ｏｎｃｅ　ｍｏｒｅ　ａｎｄ　ｔｈｅｎ　ｉｔ　ｗａｓ　ａｌｌ　ｑｕｉｅｔ．　

 

Ｉ　ｗｅｎｔ　ｄｏｗｎ　ｔｏ　ｆｅｔｃｈ　ｔｈｅ　ｂｅｌｌｓ　ｂｅｃａｕｓｅ　Ｉ　ｆｅｌｔ　ｓａｄ　ａｂｏｕｔ　ｌｅａｖｉｎｇ　ｔｈｅｍ，　ａｎｄ　ｄｏｗｎ　ｗｈｅｒｅ　ｔｈｅｙ＇ｄ　ｆａｌｌｅｎ　Ｉ　ｆｏｕｎｄ　ｌｉｔｔｌｅ　ｃｌａｙ　ｐｏｔｓ　ａｎｄ　ｂｏｗｌｓ　ｍｏｕｎｔｅｄ　ｏｎ　ｓｔｉｃｋｓ　ａｎｄ　ｓｔｒｉｎｇｓ　ｔｏ　ｄｒｙ　ｌｉｋｅ　ｌａｕｎｄｒｙ．　Ｉ　ｃｏｌｌｅｃｔｅｄ　ｔｈｅ　ｂｅｌｌｓ　ａｎｄ　ｌｅｆｔ　ｔｈｅ　ｌｉｔｔｌｅ　ｃｌａｙ　ｔｈｉｎｇｓ．

 

Ｔｈｉｎｇｓ　ｇｏｔ　ａ　ｌｉｔｔｌｅ　ｓｔｒａｎｇｅ　ａｆｔｅｒ　ｔｈａｔ．Ｉ　ｗａｓ　ｐａｒｔ　ｏｆ　ａ　ｇｒｏｕｐ，　ｐａｒｔ　ｒｏｃｋ　ｉｄｏｌ，　ｐａｒｔ　ｓｅｃｒｅｔ　ａｇｅｎｔ，　ｐａｒｔ　ｍｙｓｔｉｃ，　ａｎｄ　ｗｅ　ｗｅｒｅ　ｏｎ　ｔｈｅ　ｌｏｓｉｎｇ　ｓｉｄｅ　ｏｆ　ａ　ｂａｔｔｌｅ　ｆｏｒ　ｔｈｅ　ｍｉｎｄｓ　ｏｆ　ｅｖｅｒｙ　ｍａｎ　ｗｏｍａｎ　ａｎｄ　ｃｈｉｌｄ　ｏｎ　ｅａｒｔｈ．　Ａｔ　ｌａｓｔ，　ｗｅ　ｗｅｒｅ　ｔｈｅ　ｏｎｌｙ　ｏｎｅｓ　ｌｅｆｔ．　Ｉｎ　ｏｒｄｅｒ　ｔｏ　ｆｉｎｄ　ａ　ｗｏｒｌｄ　ｔｈａｔ　ｈａｄｎｔ　ｂｅｅｎ　ｃｏｒｒｕｐｔｅｄ，　ｆｒｏｍ　ｗｈｉｃｈ　ｔｏ　ｍｏｕｎｔ　ａ　ｐｒｏｐｅｒ　ｒｅｓｉｓｔａｎｃｅ，　ｗｅ　ｆｏｕｎｄ　ｔｈｅ　ｓｅａｍｓ　ｏｆ　ｔｈｅ　ｗｏｒｌｄ　ａｎｄ　ｕｓｅｄ　ｔｈｅｍ　ｔｏ　ｔｒａｖｅｌ　ｌａｔｅｒａｌｌｙ　ｉｎ　ｔｉｍｅ，ｔｏ　ｏｔｈｅｒ　ｅａｒｔｈｓ．Ｂｕｔ　ｔｈｉｓ　ｑｕｉｃｋｌｙ　ｇｒｅｗ　ｃｏｎｆｕｓｉｎｇ．　Ｔｈｅ　ｗｏｒｌｄ　ｗｅ　ｈａｄ　ｌｅｆｔ　ｈａｄ　ｂｅｃｏｍｅ　ｓｏ　ｐｅｃｕｌｉａｒ　ｉｎ　ｔｈｅ　ｌａｓｔ　ｄａｙｓ　ｔｈａｔ　ｗｅ　ｈａｄ　ｎｏ　ｗａｙ　ｏｆ　ｋｎｏｗｉｎｇ　ｗｈｅｔｈｅｒ　ｗｅ　ｗｅｒｅ　ｃｏｍｉｎｇ　ｏｕｔ　ｉｎｔｏ　ａ　ｎｅｗ　ｐｌａｃｅ　ｏｒ　ｊｕｓｔ　ａ　ｄｉｆｆｅｒｅｎｔ　ｐａｒｔ　ｏｆ　ｔｈｅ　ｓａｍｅ　ｐｌａｃｅ．Ｅｉｔｈｅｒ　ｗａｙ，　ｗｅ　ｗｅｒｅ　ｈｏｕｎｄｅｄ　ｂｙ　ｔｈｅ　Ｐｏｗｅｒｓ　Ｔｈａｔ Be.

 

And what began as a fun adventure, playing the prankster and fooling the Status Quo and short-circuiting it by holding up the mirror to its face, suddenly it became very real, and it was just us against the world, a world the entire resources of which were used to fuel the fiery hunt for us, the only remaining humans who could think. No one wanted us to help them, and no one wanted to be saved.

 

One time I and a friendly Impi soldier who I'd de-brainwashed (or re-brainwashed) were escorting a mother and her newborn up a winding forest path. But while we were busy clearing an area, a bad impi, with his long head like a cylinder and his long arms and long legs, 3 meters tall, fell out of the trees and killed her. The baby was screaming, and wouldnt stop. and I put the baby up to the dead mothers breast to quiet him. She came back to life, I think, but something seemed wrong, and so I left. Overhead there had been colorful shapes following us the whole time. I wondered if it had just been a dream. I dreamed that I was in a  little dormitory room with three other people.

 

I was in the library of one of the secret chief marshalls of our enemy. He had caught me, and was trying to show me the sense of his position. He showed me books. Shakespeare and Moby Dick, to prove they were not mindless husks full of belief and propaganda. They could think for themselves. And as he spoke there was an agreement of ministers, nodding their heads in approval of the wisdom of this. I pretended to be convinced, but prepared my mind to be infiltrated at any moment.

 

Suddenly the marshall left the room, and I casually examined his books. When I turned back from the shelves, the room had become a beach, surrounded by cliff walls which were the library's shelves. A little library cove. And in the middle of the beach were the heads of different creatures that had been buried up to the necks to await the tide. They were all very serene though, and just stared at the sky very calmly, looking from one cloud to the next. I sat with my back to the shelves and watched. There was a ship out to sea. the heads glanced around, and suddenly the marshall returned in the shape of a little car. I didnt respond to his questions and logic, I just sat. He grew angrier and angrier. One by one the creatures buried in the sand popped up and slid away to safety. When　ｔｈｅ　ｌａｓｔ　ｏｎｅ　ｌｅｆｔ，　Ｉ　ｈａｄ　ｗｏｎ．　Ｔｈｅ　ｍａｒｓｈａｌｌ　ｄｉｓａｐｐｅａｒｅｄ，　ｄｅｆｅａｔｅｄ．

 

Then we were back in the ruined shower we used as a hideout when we werent traveling looking for a safe place. We'd talk about where we'd been, and what it had been like. And how some places seemed perfect until we realized they had just been made to seem perfect to trap us all.

 

We heard a voice from around the wall of the ruined shower saying Hello? hello?

 

I stood just around the corner. He had a gun out and was about to find us. I grabbed his arm and pinned him. He was a strange-looking man. As I held his arms, they began shrinking out of my grasp. His whole upper body was shrinking, soon he'd be just a pair of trousers. His shouting voice grew smaller and smaller and I threw him into the seam, which opened into the Terrible Pit. the Terrible Pit was a place we didnt like to talk about, and wished we'd never found. A world which was a ball of bone ash, and there was no light, and the darkness opened one up and ate one from the inside out. Got you from inside, where we are all already dark and uses that place to eat one utterly. I threw him in, and was surprised at the evilness of what I'd done. It seemed like we'd at least managed to keep out goodness, while fighting. But now, having thrown the shrinking body into the Terrible Pit, it seemed gone, and what was the use? I heard his small voice begin to scream as the darkness edged in.

 

Ｔｈｅｎ　ａ　ｗｏｍａｎ　ａｐｐｒｏａｃｈｅｄ　ｔｈｅ　ｒｕｉｎｅｄ　ｓｈｏｗｅｒ．　ａｎｄ　ｓｈｅ　ｈａｄ　ａｌｍｏｓｔ　ｎｏ　ｌｅｇｓ，　ｂｕｔ　ａ　ｎｏｒｍａｌ　ｂｏｄｙ．　Ｗｅ　ａｌｌ　ｒｅａｌｉｚｅｄ，　ｔｈｅｙ　ｗｅｒｅ　ｉｎ　ｌｏｖｅ，　ａｎｄ　ｌｏｖｅｒｓ，　ａｎｄ　Ｉ　ｈａｄ　ｔｈｒｏｗｎ　ｏｎｅ　ｈａｌｆ　ｏｆ　ｔｈｅｍ　ｉｎｔｏ　ｔｈｅ　ｔｅｒｒｉｂｌｅ　ｐｉｔ．　Ｉ　ｆｅｌｔ　ａｗｆｕｌ．Ｉｔ　ｗａｓ　ａ　ｌｏｎｅｌｙ　ｍｉｓｅｒａｂｌｅ　ｆｅｅｌｉｎｇ　ｔｏ　ｈａｖｅ　ｓｅｎｔ　ａ　ｍａｎ　ｔｏ　ｔｈｅ　ｔｅｒｒｉｂｌｅ　ｐｉｔ．

 

Ｓｈｅ　ｗａｓ　ｙｅｌｌｉｎｇ　ｆｏｒ　ｈｉｍ，　ａｎｄ　ｊｕｍｐｅｄ　ｏｖｅｒ　ａ　ｆｅｎｃｅ　ｉｎｔｏ　ａｎ　ｉｎｓｔｉｔｕｔｅ　ｗｅ　ｈａｄｎｔ　ｎｏｔｉｃｅｄ　ｗａｓ　ｒｉｇｈｔ　ａｃｒｏｓｓ　ｆｒｏｍ　ｔｈｅ　ｒｕｉｎｅｄ　ｓｈｏｗｅｒｓ．

 

Ｗｅ　ａｌｌ　ｆｏｌｌｏｗｅｄ　ｈｅｒ．　Ｉｔ　ｗａｓ　ｔｈｅ　ｉｎｓｔｉｔｕｔｅ　ｏｆ　ｅｘｐｅｒｉｍｅｎｔａｌ　ｄｅｌｉｇｈｔｓ．

 

Ｔｈｅｒｅ　ｗａｓ　ｍｏｒｅ，　ｂｕｔ　ｉｔｓ　ａｌｌ　ｓｏｒｔ　ｏｆ　ｎｅｂｕｌｏｕｓ　ｎｏｗ．

 

Ｔｈｅｎ　Ｉ　ｗｏｋｅ　ｕｐ　ｂｅｆｏｒｅ　ｅｖｅｒｙｏｎｅ．　Ｉｔ　ｔｏｏｋ　ａｗｈｉｌｅ　ｔｏ　ｂｅ　ｓｕｒｅ　Ｉ　ｗａｓ　ｆｉｎａｌｌｙ　ａｗａｋｅ．